This week our pet guinea pig Polly died.
We expected this would happen because of his age and behavior—he was not acting like himself, was lethargic, and found it difficult to walk. So, we had a special circle time for the friends Wednesday morning with Polly as our guest, while he was still alive. We explained that as his body aged, some parts are not working as well as before. He’s having a hard time walking and needs his own cage to relax away from our other guinea pig, Brownie, who wanted to be playful.
Here I am modeling how to share my feelings and express my gratitude for the memories Polly helped me create. I drew a picture of me saying goodbye to my mommy after she drops me off at Milestones in the morning, and snuggling Polly for comfort. I also introduced a thought bubble, which reads, “I miss mommy and I love Polly.”
A few hours later, Polly passed. We told the children on the next day about Polly’s death.
We keep pets at Milestones for so many reasons. One of the most important is to help children process the concept of death. (They say you will get more questions about sex and death from your preschooler than at any other age in their development!)
We offer an opportunity for children to feel the loss on a small scale, because at some point they will feel the loss on a larger scale with their own family pets and even family members, such as grandparents. Preschool is all about planting the seeds of experience in a safe controlled setting where children are free to ask questions and process.
Here is an article that goes into detail on how to handle the death of a pet with children: Helping a Child Cope with Pet Loss. I chose this one because it clearly states dos and don’ts, and emphasizes the importance of discussing death and dying honestly. Please read it and refrain from saying “Polly was sick, Polly is sleeping but will never wake up.”
A ceremony will be held to remember Polly on Monday, August 1. Just as we did for the death of Molly (our guinea pig who died last fall), the children will be part of EVERYTHING in planning the ceremony and building the altar.
Some of the objects the friends have added to the altar.
The teachers want to take every opportunity to bridge home and school, teach the children collaboration, community, and delayed gratification. We also asked the children to draw/write representations of their memories with Polly to place on the altar. We want to embed academic concepts as much as possible in all our projects. Isabella said, “I have a sea shell. It reminds me of Polly.” Identifying a seashell as a symbol of something else is a pre-literacy concept, a skill that evolves to understanding that letters are symbols that represent sound. When children grasp this concept they generalize it when learning to read. Teaching children pre-academic concepts through projects that are linked to emotional experiences makes the child acquire the concept far easier and faster, and to retain it more readily.
Over the next few days, the children will add to a collection of objects on the altar for Polly. We will encourage them to explain how each object represents their thoughts, feelings, or memories.
The altar we are building for Polly.
We have also encouraged parents to share what their children are experiencing and feeling, and to ask questions, on our secret Facebook Group, so we can all support one another through this difficult transition. All questions are good questions and chances are other families may have similar questions.